...and LJ is just full of posts! Who'd a thunk it? People would write something on LJ? Anyway...I wasn't gone really. I was just distracted. I had the bro home for this weekend. I worked too. *sigh* Also, sadly, I've been feeling down. I got better later on today. I went "screw it!" and just decided to take some me time.

"Wait, you've been having your own you time every time you're off work?" No...not true. My brain likes to go places in which it isn't physically. It thinks too much is what I mean, about things I cannot control or have no want to control, but somehow...think "What if this were to happen...it could be fixed by...and this...oh yes, don't forget to worry worry wor..." See? Insanity. So I call BS on that and give myself a one day holiday. I don't care. I need it. Sure, ...ok...it won't be a 100% holiday. I need to do the floors tomorrow, vacuum and mop. But, as far as my brain. I need it. Contemplating a speaking fast.

I used to actually do those. It was so...I could say cathardic, but it was more like instead of working through something, not speaking was a relief. I didn't have to comment on some things. I didn't have to worry about others. I just sat or smiled or walked. I haven't had one of those in ages. Years even. It's hard to not talk when your job necesitates it.  You can pull the 'I've got larynxitis' ploy only once..before it gets totally annoying. You have to mouth the words 'I have larynxitis' and most people aren't too keen to read lips. Instead you get "What'd you say?" "I can't hear you." "Perhaps if you said that louder dear." Or, of course the people who don't care who just ignore you...which is fine. I wouldn't need them anyway. *sigh* I think it's time I went to bed. Look at the time! Ok, I'll leave another post for what I did this weekend. Maybe. :) Goodnight all.
 

Big 45 Key
 

I think I am sick and tired and depressed. I just want to go somewhere where there are no people. Only me and a few individuals (ie, not people people) and provisions. I'm tired of drama. I'm tired of anger. I'm tired of misplaced hostility. I am tired of myself being so down. I'm just damned ready to just take my own advice and take a vacation from life. I'm just pissed off and tired of things.

And...I am sad. I am lonely. I am in need of a new view on life to make this world shift back to the vibrancy I saw in the past. Because now, I'm just tired. I am just tired.

I haven't much to say this time. I'm in a good headspace. I'm keeping myself busy. I'm ok. Plus, I'm not too stressed out right now. So, there ya go. Thank you people for being so great. People who suck, well, you can just get over yourselves. I like this world. I'm glad I'm here.

Despite my not having anything to say, I will still say something. I haven't had any work this week, save for my work at the store. I'm very bored. I miss working. So,for now, I'm sorting laundry, doing dishes, and for the exact moment am looking at youtube videos. I shall share some with you to make you smile.
 

I'm hanging in there. Just wanted you guys to know, I'm feeling better and back to confident. Chuggin' along. Woot woot! Ok...enough of that.

I don't have too much to say. Life is weird. I am thankful. I am confused. I'm sleepy. Life is still weird. Wish me luck tomorrow, I have a short term job. :) Yay.

Kdawg

"To break the ties that bind, have faith that you will withstand the fall. It's not all that far down anyway." -me

 

Quiet is good. Night.